i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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