Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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