It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
