On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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