If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize