White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
