eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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