you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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