like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
