You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
