My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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