i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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