I just saw a hot homeless man
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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