I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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