3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
