They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
