think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I love you.
Bad choice
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
