and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
