Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
