He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
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im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
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I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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