I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
MIDGETS
????
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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