wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
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He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
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I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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