summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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