like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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