dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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