sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
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I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
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So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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