Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
