No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
