Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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