My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
