Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
