I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
