This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
