You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
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I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
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He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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