I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
