ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
