piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
