census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
