I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
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Blood and glitter go together right?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
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I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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