My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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