You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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