Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize