the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
