Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
