nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.