umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process