It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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