Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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