even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
