I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize