Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
