after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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