At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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