Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
