I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
