Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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