I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
