Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
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