I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
