that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
